“Learn to Give that Which you Seek” – Deepak Chopra
Funny how sometimes, the teacher becomes the student, almost instantaneously..
I was commenting on someone’s Facebook post..
And so I decided to respond in my usual style.. to just type instinctively without judgement..
The moment I hit post.. I suddenly realized that I could use that same advice for myself.. reach calm waters. In fact, anybody could. Can you really solve a problem if it’s at the point of frustration? Does working harder and harder get you anywhere? Perhaps you need a break from the challenge. A break to go find joy and happiness elsewhere and then from that happier vibration, tackle the problem once again with a fresh perspective.
Here is a quick step strategy you might try if you have reached frustrated/broken/depressed:
- Put “the problem” on hold. Not forever.. just long enough for a mini-vacation.. It might be an hour, a day, a week, or a month. It might mean being away from someone temporarily. You get to decide how long the vacation is for.
- Go find some happy places in your life and promise yourself not to think of “the problem”. Just look for joy.
- Once you reach joy, try to remember the feeling.. capture it.. Write down what it feels like. Take photos.. record a video
- Once the vacation is over.. start with a blank sheet of paper, metaphorically speaking. Target the problem again, but do it a bit differently. At first, the instinct will be to go back into the lower vibration and energy pattern from before. It’s natural. But the moment you sense yourself easing into that pain, go and grab that happy moment you captured before. Mirror it. Make the happy moment indistinguishable from “the problem”. See “the problem” as solved. See it as done. See it as if you took a snapshot, just like your other happy moment.
By doing the above exercise, you are re-patterning and re-writing the story of “the problem”. You are giving yourself a chance to see “the problem” as solved and completed. You are able to see beyond the current difficulty, and see the finished outcome with a happier and more energetic vibe, and hopefully, will be able to de-construct the end result into an action plan you can follow now.
Let’s have a look at an example. I have two “problems” I’m dealing with right now. Relationships, and good health. My health is fine, I just don’t look good and feel good in my own skin. I want to look a lot better. I want to be able to take my shirt off on a beach and not feel like everyone is looking at me. I have definitely reached the stage of frustration and giving up.
Until writing this post, I have never considered that there is an energetic component to it. That from the happy places in my life (finance, hobbies, work to some degree) I’m feeling pretty darn content and satisfied that it’s going to be fine. Why can’t I use the same higher vibration to solve this other thing? Yeah! Why not? Of course I can!
Today for the first time, in regards to health, I am picturing the end result of fitness in a higher and happier vibration version of me. I see myself fit AND smiling and laughing.. (how I FEEL is the key to the answer), I can now more clearly see a path. Some dedication to a daily regimen is all I need. A walk or jog. Perhaps a change in my pantry (removing temptations) as well. If I can do that, and know the end reward is the same happy feeling I get playing snooker, or writing on my blog, then I can lose the weight and look fit.
I can do this!
See the future version of yourself visually AND emotionally. Attach a happy/proud/successful/loving emotion to that future picture. The emotional component of that future version of you is crucial.
Emotions attached to a goal/dream/desire allow them to reach deep into your consciousness and transform you. Once you see the future version of yourself in a higher vibration, you can then de-construct from that place into the present circumstances, and can then see a way out.
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My dad has Alzheimer’s and is in a nursing home now. It’s pains me every day knowing he is there, but there really isn’t much I can do about it. I tried everything I could to keep him at home, but ultimately, the choice was taken out of our hands when he got Shingles and had to be hospitalized earlier this year. From the hospital, we decided to put him in nursing care. He fell several times at home and was acting erratically. He would wake up in the middle of the night and start wandering around. Once he got sick, we decided it was best to have professionals take care of him. That probably saved his life.
When I look back at it, I know that stress was a major contributing factor to his condition. 2008/2009 was a particularly stressful year for my parents (and me too). They ran into major financial troubles and family issues (which I won’t go into out of respect for those involved). I was unemployed and happened to be the only one that could provide a solution, so I decided to care for them full time. Once he was diagnosed in 2009 with this disease, I learned everything I could about Alzheimers. I came to the conclusion that stress was a major contributing factor. My dad was never very good with handling stress and anxiety anyways.
To make sure it never happens to me, I started looking for a different approach to life and found a lot of new ideas I could incorporate – meditation, living in the present, doing what you love, smiling regardless of the outcome, getting out of GOOP (good opinions of other people) and more.
I have a much better balance to life now. Do I have everything I want? Not yet, but I approach things differently now. And I’m mindful of stress-inducing people and situations. I don’t avoid stress – you never can. I just react differently to it now.
If you have aging parents, please don’t hand them life changing stressful life changes. Everyone has a good chance of getting Alzheimers and I can tell you from first hand experience that the primary issue in Alzheimers stems from diet. Inflammation inducing foods like non-organic meats, toxins, oils, and unrefined sugars and wheat are the major culprits. I don’t drink pop, don’t use oil in cooking, and remove stressful people wherever I can.
I know our parents are supposed to teach us and show us the way. I just never expected to learn it like this.
Some of you are living a fulfilling and complete life. Through luck, hard work, and never giving up, you got it. Congratulations. I know it’s not always happy, but it is on balance.
I haven’t been so lucky. But it’s not luck. I get it. It’s putting in the effort. You only get what you deserve through the work of your own hands and mind. In the past, when I was stuck, I looked for answers. The one thing. The single answer or book or course or social network that could get me to this strange island everyone else seems to be visiting called “happiness”. To be honest, I still seek the answer but I take a wiser approach now. Somehow, I didn’t seem to get the early lesson of actually working hard and that happiness is earned, not deserved.
The most important thing I have learned is that NO SINGLE HUMAN can have the complete answer. It’s not possible. Each of us comes from a single point of reference: our own lives. Even if you read 50 books on destiny and happiness, they might all be wrong and the answer might be in the 51st book.
Even making this post is my arrogant point of view.
One thing I have figured out: we are designed to live and get better. That seems to be our genetic destiny if you look at the human population in the past 300 years. We are getting smarter, faster, and living longer.
But everyone has only so much time.
So if you have a dream, then do it. If you want to be a juggler, cook, pie maker, CEO, or sweeper, do it. You only have this one life (as far as we know). Live without regret. A week from now life could end for something benign, tragic, or accidental like the snap of a finger.
Pursue the dream. Do it smartly. Get some mentors – we are social creatures after all. Read books and use your unique, human-only gift: to think and get better. Don’t try to re-invent. It’s time wasting.